I'm Back! Or at least I hope. Work is literally a shit storm right now. You'd think a little $6 billion dollar acquisition of some new brands would be a walk in the woods. No such luck. Well I told the Mick that'd I'd try to get back to some regular posts. Oh yeah, thanks to all of you who have been checking back from time to time to see if there was any new shit.
Quiz Question, if there's a competition between your automobile and a commuter train, guess who is going to win? If you had to think for even a second, you deserved to be on the track with the rest of those fucking idiots last Wednesday. If you haven't been watching the new at all, last Wednesday a Metra commuter train was forced to crash into approximately 15 cars of which 6 or 7 were sitting directly on the tracks blocking of a busy intersection. What I hate most is the news coverage of the whole event. There were a whole bunch of headlines that said Metra train brutally slams into innocent victims in busy intersection. What a bunch of crap!
What they should have said is..."Fucking Morons Nearly Wiped from Face of Earth by Own Stupidity!" It's Darwinism at work plain and simple; the weaker slower ones are the first to be taken from the herd.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Monday, November 14, 2005
Cool Penn State Video
A friend sent me the following link to a cool Penn State football video. If you're a fan, take a look when you have the chance. If you're not a fan, take a look anyway.
Penn State Football Video
Penn State Football Video
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
And How is Your Day Going?
Well at this point, everything appears going fine. This morning, I wasn't so sure.
I arrived at the office this morning at just after 8. As always. the first thing I do is hit the coffee station for a big styrofoam cup of Starbucks. I don't know why, but I like it that way. I could use a coffee cup and have access to them; but for whatever reason, I like it in the free styrofoam cups that the company provides. Maybe its the fact that I am taking something back from "The Man". More likely, however, they are a badge of honor when I get up around noon time and haul the three or four that I've accumulated on my desk half full with cold coffee back to the coffee station to dump them out. Well enough of my idiotic idiosyncracies.
So, I'm sitting at my desk at around 8:40am and everything is trucking along fine. I've got my entire day planned out and am just hitting my stride to finally get some of this fucking shit cleared off my plate. Well out of nowhere, fate decides this is not to be the case.
As I am pulling over some documents that I need for the next task from the edge of my desk, I feel something catch on my wrist and the sleeve of my dress shirt. I suddenly look down in horror as I realize what it is. You may have guessed it, my pretty much full 16oz cup of Starbucks coffee. I pulled that fucker right over in one clean move. It then hit the edge of the desk about half way up the side of the cup and proceeded to pour approximately 15.5 oz. of lukewarm coffee right down the from of my shirt and into my lap. With my catlike reflexes, I was able to quick right the cup and keep that all important quarter ounce of coffee from not completely soaking my underwear and socks. But alas the damage was done. There was Starbucks coffee everwhere, on my shoes, in my shoes, on my pants...I'm sure you get the picture. I am such an idiot.
Well there I am covered in dripping coffee, the poster child for the next office psycho. The slight bit of dignity I have would not allow me to walk the 30 yards to the men's room through the gauntlet of my fellow employees. So, I did the next best thing. I called for Asshole Lawyer to assist me. After pointing and laughing for a few minutes he ran and got me a roll of paper towels. It took half the fucking roll, to clean up the mess. To top it off, I had wet socks and underwear for about two hours and smelled like burnt coffee for the rest of the day.
I will tell you there are a couple of things I am really thankful for with this whole ordeal. First, the coffee wasn't very hot. I'd hate to go to the emergency room to tell them I burned "The Boys" in a careless hot coffee office incident. Or better yet, being hauled out of here on a stretcher in front of everyone for the very same reason. Two, I like my coffee black. Black coffee doesn't stain as bad as coffee with cream and sugar does. And three, I'm thankful that the white shirt I was going to wear today was dirty and I had to wear a tan colored button down instead.
If something worse happened to you today, I want to hear about it.
I arrived at the office this morning at just after 8. As always. the first thing I do is hit the coffee station for a big styrofoam cup of Starbucks. I don't know why, but I like it that way. I could use a coffee cup and have access to them; but for whatever reason, I like it in the free styrofoam cups that the company provides. Maybe its the fact that I am taking something back from "The Man". More likely, however, they are a badge of honor when I get up around noon time and haul the three or four that I've accumulated on my desk half full with cold coffee back to the coffee station to dump them out. Well enough of my idiotic idiosyncracies.
So, I'm sitting at my desk at around 8:40am and everything is trucking along fine. I've got my entire day planned out and am just hitting my stride to finally get some of this fucking shit cleared off my plate. Well out of nowhere, fate decides this is not to be the case.
As I am pulling over some documents that I need for the next task from the edge of my desk, I feel something catch on my wrist and the sleeve of my dress shirt. I suddenly look down in horror as I realize what it is. You may have guessed it, my pretty much full 16oz cup of Starbucks coffee. I pulled that fucker right over in one clean move. It then hit the edge of the desk about half way up the side of the cup and proceeded to pour approximately 15.5 oz. of lukewarm coffee right down the from of my shirt and into my lap. With my catlike reflexes, I was able to quick right the cup and keep that all important quarter ounce of coffee from not completely soaking my underwear and socks. But alas the damage was done. There was Starbucks coffee everwhere, on my shoes, in my shoes, on my pants...I'm sure you get the picture. I am such an idiot.
Well there I am covered in dripping coffee, the poster child for the next office psycho. The slight bit of dignity I have would not allow me to walk the 30 yards to the men's room through the gauntlet of my fellow employees. So, I did the next best thing. I called for Asshole Lawyer to assist me. After pointing and laughing for a few minutes he ran and got me a roll of paper towels. It took half the fucking roll, to clean up the mess. To top it off, I had wet socks and underwear for about two hours and smelled like burnt coffee for the rest of the day.
I will tell you there are a couple of things I am really thankful for with this whole ordeal. First, the coffee wasn't very hot. I'd hate to go to the emergency room to tell them I burned "The Boys" in a careless hot coffee office incident. Or better yet, being hauled out of here on a stretcher in front of everyone for the very same reason. Two, I like my coffee black. Black coffee doesn't stain as bad as coffee with cream and sugar does. And three, I'm thankful that the white shirt I was going to wear today was dirty and I had to wear a tan colored button down instead.
If something worse happened to you today, I want to hear about it.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
I'm a Bad Bad Blogger! But I come bearing pictures
What a fucking slacker I've been when it comes to the Chronicles. It's been over two weeks since I did that last pathetic post about Boss' Day. I apologize to all of you that have been coming in from time to time to see if I've finally posted something. Well, if you can't tell, work has gotten even more crazy with little to no time to write down any sarcastic thoughts. Let me tell you I've thought plenty of them that's for sure though.
Anyway, this weekend we had our Pimp & Prostitute Costume Party. It was an absolute blast and I took a ton of great pictures, some of which I share with you below. Others I will need to think carefully about putting out here. Some sensitive friends that happen to loosen up a lot when they drink might not appreciate them being posted out here. The Wife took her usual position as Designated Drink Pusher. She appears unassuming, is notorious for making big trays of shots and ends up getting everyone to drink way too much. The Blow Jobs, Jello Shots and Mind Erasers were all a big hit. Thanks to all of our friends that threw themselves into the thematic element of the event. Here's a little chronicle of the evening...
This is a group shot of the gals in all their splendor. Everyone's looking fairly happy at this point. I'm betting this was after the Island Blue Pucker & Vodka shots made their appearance.
Fresh and his lovely bride were invited to another party that evening but decided to stop by for a bit. She was dressed as Naked Man and he was dressed as Naked Woman. Here's Fresh, absolutely disturbing.
These two were a close first and second for "Best Display of Cleavage!"
The "Sexy Bitch" punch that The Wife came up with was awesome. Some of the guests couldn't get enough, even after 3 punch bowls full.
Like hookers would come anywhere near these two dips...
Gay guys always make me feel like a giant fat ass. Here's my good friend Squig with his new Squeeze.
Coach don't take no shit from his Ho!
Fresh will do anything to hang out with the ladies...Again, just disturbing.
Well that's enough for now. I'm going to try and do some regular posting over the next few weeks so keep checking back.
Anyway, this weekend we had our Pimp & Prostitute Costume Party. It was an absolute blast and I took a ton of great pictures, some of which I share with you below. Others I will need to think carefully about putting out here. Some sensitive friends that happen to loosen up a lot when they drink might not appreciate them being posted out here. The Wife took her usual position as Designated Drink Pusher. She appears unassuming, is notorious for making big trays of shots and ends up getting everyone to drink way too much. The Blow Jobs, Jello Shots and Mind Erasers were all a big hit. Thanks to all of our friends that threw themselves into the thematic element of the event. Here's a little chronicle of the evening...
This is a group shot of the gals in all their splendor. Everyone's looking fairly happy at this point. I'm betting this was after the Island Blue Pucker & Vodka shots made their appearance.
Fresh and his lovely bride were invited to another party that evening but decided to stop by for a bit. She was dressed as Naked Man and he was dressed as Naked Woman. Here's Fresh, absolutely disturbing.
These two were a close first and second for "Best Display of Cleavage!"
The "Sexy Bitch" punch that The Wife came up with was awesome. Some of the guests couldn't get enough, even after 3 punch bowls full.
Like hookers would come anywhere near these two dips...
Gay guys always make me feel like a giant fat ass. Here's my good friend Squig with his new Squeeze.
Coach don't take no shit from his Ho!
Fresh will do anything to hang out with the ladies...Again, just disturbing.
Well that's enough for now. I'm going to try and do some regular posting over the next few weeks so keep checking back.
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