Weekend Report

Here's some commentary from my weekend at the Treasure Island resort in the Wisconsin Dells...http://www.wisdellstreasureisland.com/

• Tattoos and mullets were an overwhelming thematic element. Everywhere you looked, there were tons of people with tattoos. I'm not taking about tastefully done tattooing either. I am talking about huge gaudy tattoos on every imaginable part of the body. Either that or they were badly done and looked like prison tats. For heaven's sake people, if you are going to mark up your body permanently, please have the sense to have a professional do it.
• And don't let me forget about the mullets, oh there were mullets as far as the eye could see. There were men with mullets, little kids with mullets and even women with mullets. I took some pictures which I will post shortly. You just can't beat a good a good mullet watch. The less hair on top and the longer in the back the better.
• My favorite t-shirt of the weekend was worn by an enormous African-American man. It read, "Big Willie's Taxidermy, stuffing beavers for over thirty years!" Now that's classy!
• I personally put on a free show by mistakenly changing into my bathing suit in front of our hotel window with the shades open. The wife said she saw people running and screaming with their eyes covered. I think she was lying.
• To the people that dress their kids up in those hideous floatation swimsuits, you might as well be beating them up on the playground. They look like pussies. Don't be so fucking lazy and teach them to swim or at least keep an eye on them while they're in the water. I'm sure you can sit on your lazy ass and have a Miller Lite in a plastic bottle some other time.
• Wearing a t-shirt while you swim does not camoflague the fact that you are a big fat ass. Be a man like me and show off your big pasty white belly to the rest of the world. Women, same thing for you, that sheer cover up you're wearing ain't hiding shit.