I'm back on the train pretty much everyday now. Yeah! So, for those of you that like them, I'll start doing my Metra eavesdropping posts again. Today, I thought it would be fun to give some unsolicited fashion commentary. As most of you know, I'm not one to hold back in the unsolicited commentary category; so here goes.
1. If you have a big ass and corresponding stomach, don't wear a big sparkly belt drawing attention to both.
2. Putting ones makeup on in public is really not that attractive. Now I'm not talking about a dab of lipstick. I'm talking about doing major facial reconstruction. Get your ass out of bed earlier and do that at home.
3. To the best of my knowledge, Noah is not building an ark. Please leave the floods at home.
4. If you got a case of the nasty toes, leave the bitches covered up.
5. Not as many people can pull off those ridiculously huge bug eye sunglasses as one might think.
6. Make the decision (and quickly) whether you are going bald not. If you decide that you are, stop doing that fucking combover thing and shave your head.
7. Yes, everyone can tell it's a toupee and you look like Moe from the Three Stooges. Stop wearing it.
8. If you are sitting on the lower level and wearing a low cut blouse, everyone can see right down your shirt when they walk up behind you. While I don't actually mind this, you might.
9. Same church, different pew for upper level. Unless you are an exhibitionist, think carefully about wearing a skirt on the upper level. It's really easy to make a wrong move and give a whole line of passing commuters a free show.
10. If you've got nappy oily hair or wear a jerry curl product of any kind, please do not lean against the windows. It leaves a disgusting mark that everyone has to look at for days and days.
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8 comments:
OH.MY.GOD. I am laughing my ass off at these. TOO FUNNY! Very good observations! I wonder if the ladies with low cut blouses, or the ones on the top with skirts really DO want people to look.
Oh, and the belt...GOOD LORD! My husband's ex has a HUGE HUGE ass, and she ALWAYS wears strectch pants...in a plethora of colors...
I just wonder, I mean I'm no fashion diva, but good lord..do these people really stand in front of mirror and say "yep! I look pretty damn good today!"
Thanks for the laugh. Found you from blogexplosion. I'm gonna bookmark ya!
How do you know if you have ugly toes?
How about the severe cases of Camel Toe or Moose Knuckle?
How can anything survive so tightly wrapped on a 90+ degree day?
The chaffing!!!!!
toefully challenged, if you have to ask, you probably want to keep them out of sight.
Rooster - I've heard of camel toe but Moose Knuckle? I'll have to remember that one.
In the plethora of colors, wearing hot pink stretch pants on the bottom and a black shirt on top, will cause people to say "Someone should have swithced the colors top and bottom" quickly followed by "why draw more attention to your big ass by wrapping it in hot pink"
You should give credit where credit is due. Say thank you to Rooster.
I had to come back to this after seeing the girl referenced as #2. This girl was CAKING on the make up! Many layers of base were applied followed by six coats of various eye products. It was crazy, she didn't look the same when she exited the train. She was good looking before the application and nasty afterwards. That was the first time I have ever witnessed such an event!
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