Train Friends Lunch

Late last week, Rooster, Mick, Bobby and I did one of our infamous "Train Friend" lunches. About once or month or so a group of us that all ride the train get together and have lunch. Usually, they start out innocent enough as friends from the train getting together for a quick bite and some pleasant conversation. But inevitably the conversation turns south and lunch turns into us laughing our asses off while other tables give us dirty looks. This time was certainly no different.

Before I fill you in on the crazy conversation let me give some props to the choice of eatery. Since Bobby's company was picking up the tab, we decided to go slightly upscale with P.F. Changs. I've eaten at Changs a few times and can't say enough good things about it. Service has always been excellent and the food is to die for. I highly recommend the chicken lettuce wraps and the kun pao scallops. Overall, I give it 4 out of 5 on the carrotpenis rating scale.

Now back to the lunch conversation. First, we get this perky little waitress with great boobs named Marissa who is an absolute hoot. She was fully involved in our conversation the whole time and at one point squeezed her boobs to make a point about something funny she was telling us. Cute waitress touching her own boobs at our table is win win as far as I am concerned.

The demise of the lunch time conversation this time happened about 30 seconds after we got there with Mick telling a fantastic story about his brother's bachelor party gone really bad. Here are some random highlights. First the party was supposed to be pretty big with 35 or 40 people but only about a dozen ended up showing up making is somewhat pathetic. The party was held in the dank basement at the brides parents house. Yes, you heard that one correctly, the bride's parent's house. Mick said that there were two disgusting brown couches that he was afraid to sit on. Stripper number one showed up over 90 minutes late. And he said that this little cutey had more prison tats than you could shake a stick at. To make matters worse the bride's dad asked loudly in front of everyone how much it would be for the stripper to take a piss on the groom. EWWW! I certainly wouldn't want to know that my father-in-law was a "Golden Shower" sort of guy. Then stripper number two shows up with a dildo attached to a DeWalt power drill. For $300, she was willing to let the groom use it on her.

Well after that little story things started to go quickly down hill as everyone shared stories of their favorite bachelor/bachelorette party moments. First, Rooster shared an oldie but goodie about seeing two Prince Alberts at the same bar in one night. It still amazes me that someone could turn a bar conversation in such a way to make it okay to drop their pierced schlong onto the table for everyone to see. But hey, what do I know. This was followed by Bobby's story of physically pushing his father out of the way so that he didn't find out that some guys were doing coke in the bathroom and then hiding the lines on the back of the toilet underneath a flower pot.

Needless to say we were once again laughing our asses off the entire time (Rooster even snorted a couple of times.) and the entire restaurant was looking at us. Can't wait for our next outing.