Company Suggestion Box

If you've been reading for any length of time, you probably caught one of my jags about the Suggestion Box at my place of work. We have this on-line Suggestion Box on which people make the most outlandish suggestions that they think should be taken seriously. Being the smartass that I am, I can't resist poking a little fun at them. Here goes...

Suggestion #1- The first suggestion from this round was actually mine and I still can't believe they answered it seriously. To give you some background, there were like 5 different suggestions from people asking if women could wear Capri pants as business casual attire. Since the business casual guidelines are extremely lenient towards women's fashions already, it irritated me that they were trying to be even more greedy. What's next after all, Flip Flops. So, trying to be an asshole, I submitted the following:

With all the serious consideration going on about Capri pants, I thought this would be a good time for a suggestion regarding men's apparel. As a man on hot days, I find that wearing heavy cotton pants extremely uncomfortable. After doing some research I discovered that kilts are making an emergence in the US. They are not only comfortable, but can be fashionable as well. Please consider adding them to the business casual dress code. For your convenience, I have included a link that shows what I am talking about.

http://www.scotch-corner.co.uk/highlanddress/catalogue/index.cfm?items=2271

Well wouldn't you know they responded to my suggestion like it was a serious one. Here's the response...

At this time, Capri pants, kilts, and before anyone asks, Bermuda shorts, do not reflect the professional image that "Company Name Here" would like to preserve. As we continue to grow, the company will evaluate policies that will benefit both the company and its employees.

Damn Bermuda Shorts that was even better than the Kilts. Sorry, I didn't think of it.

Suggestion #2-

I find some of the responses to submitted ideas for the suggestion box to take on a rather condescending tone. This could possibly deter creative thinkers from submitting ideas. A "friendlier approach" might be considered.

Do you think this person could possibly be reading my blog entries and confusing them for the actual suggestion box? Well here's my unofficial response to that one....

Dear Whiny Bitch, I'm sorry if us saying no to your stupid idiotic ideas appeared condescending. Next time we will try and blow some sunshine up your ass before we say no to you. How does this work for you. While your idea to have flowered drapes in all of the offices was certainly one of the greatest ideas we've ever heard in our entire lives, we are just not able to work that into budget this year. Was that better dipshit?

Look forward to more stupid suggestions down the road. It appears it's going to be a bevy of material.