And How is Your Day Going?

Well at this point, everything appears going fine. This morning, I wasn't so sure.

I arrived at the office this morning at just after 8. As always. the first thing I do is hit the coffee station for a big styrofoam cup of Starbucks. I don't know why, but I like it that way. I could use a coffee cup and have access to them; but for whatever reason, I like it in the free styrofoam cups that the company provides. Maybe its the fact that I am taking something back from "The Man". More likely, however, they are a badge of honor when I get up around noon time and haul the three or four that I've accumulated on my desk half full with cold coffee back to the coffee station to dump them out. Well enough of my idiotic idiosyncracies.

So, I'm sitting at my desk at around 8:40am and everything is trucking along fine. I've got my entire day planned out and am just hitting my stride to finally get some of this fucking shit cleared off my plate. Well out of nowhere, fate decides this is not to be the case.

As I am pulling over some documents that I need for the next task from the edge of my desk, I feel something catch on my wrist and the sleeve of my dress shirt. I suddenly look down in horror as I realize what it is. You may have guessed it, my pretty much full 16oz cup of Starbucks coffee. I pulled that fucker right over in one clean move. It then hit the edge of the desk about half way up the side of the cup and proceeded to pour approximately 15.5 oz. of lukewarm coffee right down the from of my shirt and into my lap. With my catlike reflexes, I was able to quick right the cup and keep that all important quarter ounce of coffee from not completely soaking my underwear and socks. But alas the damage was done. There was Starbucks coffee everwhere, on my shoes, in my shoes, on my pants...I'm sure you get the picture. I am such an idiot.

Well there I am covered in dripping coffee, the poster child for the next office psycho. The slight bit of dignity I have would not allow me to walk the 30 yards to the men's room through the gauntlet of my fellow employees. So, I did the next best thing. I called for Asshole Lawyer to assist me. After pointing and laughing for a few minutes he ran and got me a roll of paper towels. It took half the fucking roll, to clean up the mess. To top it off, I had wet socks and underwear for about two hours and smelled like burnt coffee for the rest of the day.

I will tell you there are a couple of things I am really thankful for with this whole ordeal. First, the coffee wasn't very hot. I'd hate to go to the emergency room to tell them I burned "The Boys" in a careless hot coffee office incident. Or better yet, being hauled out of here on a stretcher in front of everyone for the very same reason. Two, I like my coffee black. Black coffee doesn't stain as bad as coffee with cream and sugar does. And three, I'm thankful that the white shirt I was going to wear today was dirty and I had to wear a tan colored button down instead.

If something worse happened to you today, I want to hear about it.