This is an actual email exchange from a law firm that I do business with. It is utterly hilarious. I've changed the names to protect the innocent...Start from the bottom, it's much funnier that way.
-----Original Message-----
From: Asshole Lawyer 3
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 12:04 PM
To: Facility Girl; Asshole Lawyer 1; Asshole Lawyer 2
Subject: RE: Emergency Response Team
Personally, I find all of these shenanigans irresponsible.
-----Original Message-----
From: Asshole Lawyer 2
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 12:01 PM
To: Facility Girl; Asshole Lawyer 1
Cc: Asshole Lawyer 3
Subject: RE: Emergency Response Team
I'm working from home today, but will look into the email situation when I am back in the office on Thursday. As you no doubt will understand after reading Asshole Lawyer's email, I am currently trying to avoid making any commitments to the firm that extend beyond a two week period.
Regards,
Asshole Lawyer 2
-----Original Message----- From: Asshole Lawyer 1
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 11:58 AM
To: Facility Girl
Cc: Asshole Lawyer 2; Asshole Lawyer 3
Subject: RE: Emergency Response Team
Facility Girl:
Clearly, Asshole Lawyer 2 came into my office and sent from my computer the e-mail indicating I would be willing to serve on your rescue squad. I think you should find someone else besides me. If some emergency were to actually occur here, the only emergency response plan I intend to effect is called "Lookie Outie for Numero Uno." I plan to run out of this place so fast you'll need extra rescue team members just to pick up the old ladies I knock over in my escape. I'll be standing outside on the street with a venti, extra shot, easy vanilla latte from Starbucks before your team members even have their cute little orange vests put on. You know that guy on the Titanic that got into the life raft before all the women and children? That's me.
I think Asshole Lawyer 2 just nominated himself by sending you the false message. I recommend you use him to fill whatever position requires him to stay behind and fight the flames before they get to our files. I know that could be very dangerous and put his life at stake, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
Asshole Lawyer 1
-----Original Message-----
From: Facility Girl
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 11:37 AM
To: Asshole Lawyer 1
Subject: RE: Emergency Response Team
THANKS!!!
-----Original Message-----
From: Asshole Lawyer 1
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 11:17 AM
To: Facility Girl
Subject: RE: Emergency Response Team
I will
-----Original Message-----
From: Facility Girl
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 11:07 AM
To: Entire Law Firm
Subject: Emergency Response Team
Importance: High
Your floor is looking for a few more volunteers for the Emergency Response team. This is very important for your safety as well as others in the event of an emergency. Please let me know if you are willing to volunteer.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Thursday, May 01, 2008
When is a Date a Date?
Clearly I am going to have a start a list. Let's call this one New Single Guy Learning Experience #2. Just to recap...If you recall #1 was don't date two girls and be seen on television with one of them.
Okay, #2 is when you are recently single guy and you ask a single girl out for drinks as friends, there is the distinct possiblity that she may think it's a date. This has happened to me on not one but two separate occasions. The first time, met random female aquaintance on train and had a nice conversation. We exchanged a few funny emails. One night I was bored and shot her and email asking her if she'd be interested in meeting me for a drink. To date, there was no discussion of dating, I assumed it was two casual friends going out for a drink. Apparently, I was wrong because I was informed later that it was a considered date.
Situation two, a divorced soccer mom from my team has agreed to cover for me while I am out of town this weekend. She's never coached soccer before and clearly had a lot of questions about what to do. I offered to meet her for a drink last night to go over any questions she had. Someone told me that it was probably going on a date. I said "No way, we are just talking about soccer." Well once again, I was wrong it was a date. What tipped me off? We had cocktails and sat for easily an hour talking with not one mention of soccer. The whole evening lasted nearly four hours and soccer talk consisted of about 5 minutes of that time period.
Ladies, can you give me some guidance here? When is just drinks, just drinks? And when is just drinks, a DATE? Is there some code word I need to use to make it go one way or another? Or do I just need to throw it out there. Don't get me wrong both times I had a really nice time. I am just confused about what constitutes a date and what doesn't.
Okay, #2 is when you are recently single guy and you ask a single girl out for drinks as friends, there is the distinct possiblity that she may think it's a date. This has happened to me on not one but two separate occasions. The first time, met random female aquaintance on train and had a nice conversation. We exchanged a few funny emails. One night I was bored and shot her and email asking her if she'd be interested in meeting me for a drink. To date, there was no discussion of dating, I assumed it was two casual friends going out for a drink. Apparently, I was wrong because I was informed later that it was a considered date.
Situation two, a divorced soccer mom from my team has agreed to cover for me while I am out of town this weekend. She's never coached soccer before and clearly had a lot of questions about what to do. I offered to meet her for a drink last night to go over any questions she had. Someone told me that it was probably going on a date. I said "No way, we are just talking about soccer." Well once again, I was wrong it was a date. What tipped me off? We had cocktails and sat for easily an hour talking with not one mention of soccer. The whole evening lasted nearly four hours and soccer talk consisted of about 5 minutes of that time period.
Ladies, can you give me some guidance here? When is just drinks, just drinks? And when is just drinks, a DATE? Is there some code word I need to use to make it go one way or another? Or do I just need to throw it out there. Don't get me wrong both times I had a really nice time. I am just confused about what constitutes a date and what doesn't.
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