Tuesday, June 20, 2006

It's Like Africa Hot!

The Boy and I spent Father's day on a Fun with Son weekend camping with the Cub Scouts at Camp Okarro in Wadsworth, IL. Here are some random highlights and observations from the excursion.
  • First off it was really fucking hot, like Africa hot. And as luck would have it, Camp Okarro has zero places to cool off in the water unless you count the slime covered mosquito infested Lake Skippy. The Boy and I literally sweated our asses off by the end of the weekend. This was fine for me because I have plenty of ass to sweat off; but The Boy is just bone and gristle. Fortunately, like most 7 years olds he's also dumb and oblivious to any temperature changes.
  • Since there was only one other father son combo from our pack there, we were put in the "Special" combo camp site with the other loser packs with only a few participants. Boy, that was a fun experience. My favorite co-camper of the weekend was Mailman Bob. Mailman Bob as you can guess is a mail man with 33 years of experience. In his spare time, he and his son Little Bob do Civil War renactments. They have their own uniforms. Bob had a full beard and looked like a skinny 60 year old Grizzly Adams. In addition to his Civil War interests, Mailman Bob also has a Beatles museum in his home which was featured on the show Wild Chicago. The reason I know all this is that Mailman Bob told me this about himself in the first 30 seconds I met him. He then didn't shut the fuck up talking about his quirky interests for the rest of the weekend. I now know more about Civil War renactments than I ever wanted to and feel very sorry for Little Bob.
  • Our other two co-campers of the weeked were Rusty (I'm not making this up.) and Tom. Both were nerdy chemists from Abbott Labs which you as you can imagine is a recipe for fun and excitement. Both sat around all weekend and read sci-fi books (big surprise there, I know) while their kids ran around like idiots. Oh, I almost forgot. Tom in a moment of parental brillance left his annoying nephew Colin at the event for three hours while he ran home, showered and watched tennis. Hey, fuckface, it's called Fun with Son Weekend for a reason. Otherwise they'd call it Leave Your Dumbass Kid in the Woods Weekend.
  • The Boy and I did all of the violent father son activities they had like shooting BB guns, Archery, and Sling shots. I am thinking of quitting my job and becoming a sniper after the performance I had on the gun range. Though, I think they may frown on the fact that I have the attention span of a humming bird.
  • Can anyone explain to me why so many loser dad/kids end up in scouting? It's fun and they do a bunch of really cool shit. Yet, the losers of society end up participating in it. The majority of people there are the biggest pack of nerds ever. I know there's no chicks there, but you can meet them at other activities like sports. It's also of huge interest to the obese children and their fat parents. I saw this fat fucker put about a pound of mayonaisse on his sandwich while his fat ass father sat and downed to burgers in about 20 seconds. And people wonder why our kids are so heavy.

Well I better get to work here before the pile gets any bigger.

2 comments:

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

LOL about scouting. I always thought it sounded a little too gay.

Moby Dick said...

Obese kids are sick and need help badly For a child to grow up obese is horrible. They never play outside, participate in youth sports, and they get diabetes and other illnesses. BTW, the Boy Scouts is gay because they made it politically correct. In the old days, the Scouts had target training with rifles, slingshots, and did cool things like hunt animals.