Ding Dong The Witch is ....

Well she's not dead but at least she's moved onto the next part of her pathetic life.

On Monday morning, I got a text message from my friend, Johnny B. saying "I'm Free!" which could mean only one of two things. One, he had just escaped from being tied up in a scary night of BDSM sex with that midget lady he found on match.com or his divorce was final. It was the latter and not a second too soon. We (Cowboy, myself, and the rest of our sad circle of friends) have been on the peripheral of this train wreck for nearly a year now. If it hadn't ended when it did, I am sure that things would have gotten really ugly. Johnny B. was really fairly level headed through the whole arduous thing and I commend him for that. I am not sure I would have been as mature (fucking whore) as he has been.

I am still utterly amazed at how much control a woman has over a divorce proceeding regardless of whether or not she sleeping with her cousin and she voluntarily chooses to leave her husband and two kids for said cousin after 13 years of marriage without a thought of reconciling. Yes, it's as creepy as it sounds. In Illinois there is very little penalty if any for being 95% of the cause for the marriage break up, you still get your half. It seems like it is even worse if you allow your spouse to be a stay at home mother. That $80k value being provided by your wife as a stay at home quickly flows out the window when you get a lawyer involved and your ex becomes a money grubbing, I want to continue to sit on my ass and not get a job even though I am only screwing my cousin and not taking care of the children on a full time basis bitch. Suddenly, their whole earning power drops to zilch and you as the guy are left holding the bag and making child support payments to your spouse even though the kids live with you. Utterly pathetic. But I digress.

Well what started out as a nice congrats on a bad situation turned into an aimless rage filled rant. I apologize. Johnny B., I have a nice bottle of Basil Hayden with your name on it. We'll drink to good friends and the future and oh yeah the hilarity that is going to ensue as you make the real leap into the world of crazy women and casual sex. I am already laughing. I hear that Miss Plum Court is free this weekend.