Still Kicking!

Thanks to everyone who has been poking their head in randomly and emailing to see if I am still alive. I honestly haven't been in the mood to do a post in really long while. And the absolute whirlwind that has been happening at work and at home certainly hasn't helped either. Well after the urgings of some friends; I think mostly just to get rid of that giant ass picture currently at the top of the blog. I have decided to give the posting thing another go. At the very least, it may be therapeutic for me, I am guessing that this will be at the expense of others. No hard feeling though.

I think it is probably best to start out with a random highlights to bring everyone up to speed on at least a little bit of what's been happening in the Land of Carrotpenis.

• Cowboy and I took a road trip down to Charlotte to see a NASCAR race; I know, we continue to solidify our "white trash" reputation. While not quite the debacle that happened at Chicago Motor Speedway last year, it was great fun. Jim and Jim's hot wife showed us an absolutely awesome time. The hospitality tent and skybox experience were absolutely over the top. I will have to say that Jim Beam needs to do a better job of interviewing their shooter girls; a fantastic body does not make up for and ugly face regardless of how perfect her boobs are.
• Went to Cub's Rooftop game with Cowboy. Does anyone sense a theme here? Baseball, Free Drinks and Free Food are a classic combination. Met gay couple who thought Cowboy and I were domestic partners, so to speak. Come on people, can't guys go out a couple times a week without their wives to hang out and watch sports on a regular basis without being accused of being gay, not that there's anything wrong with that. I do have to admit that the VOR did appear a little jealous when he found out we met new gay friends. Cowboy and I parlayed the cubs game into an entire day of drinking rounded out by the Cowboy and I at the Vine at around 10pm, much to the chagrin of some other patrons.
• I have been riding the train fairly regular lately; yesterday I got to ride with the Mick and Rooster. Rooster was in typical fashion the Queen of the Geriatric car lording over the elderly minions. Rooster, you better not back out on our lunch. Can't wait to have tater tots at Traxx next week, mmm love the tots.
• Have flown out to Westchester, NY twice in the past two weeks for complete bullshit business trips. Four days of travel wasted for 3 hours of meetings is complete crap. On one excursion though, I did a swing through of Phillipsburg, NJ, my old stomping grounds, to see the "Rents". It was really nice to catch up and see the old hometown. When I am there, I always catch myself looking at people around my age and wondering what they would like if they lost 40 or 50 pounds to see if can remember who they were. Am I wrong for doing that? My 20 year reunion is coming up in August; I am looking forward to what I imagine will certainly be a train wreck.
• The Fun's had a family bbq/adult drinking party not too long ago complete with a kegger and 200 jello shots. Nothing like a few jello shots do transform a casually drinking housewife into a "Dirty Girl". It was lots of fun. Someone, who will remain nameless, put the ass picture from the previous post below on all the neighbor's cars and in their mailboxes with a tagline that said property of Mrs. Fun on them. Not sure what that is all about or perhaps, I am. The neighbors were nice enough to return the pictures the next morning to Mrs. Fun's mailbox. I am sure that the postman enjoyed that one. Found out that I am really not that good at Sink the Bismark. Mr. Fun, I am still not sure that isn't a game that you made up on the spur of the moment. Is anyone else familiar with it? Mrs. Fun, could you please send the picture of Mrs. Carrotpenis grabbing Aussie Girl's boob?

I think this wraps up today's installment. As promised previously, look for an upcoming post where I will update you on how "Tenacious D. Ruins a Bonfire".

Random Highlights a Long Time Coming

Well since it's been awhile since my last bitter post, I thought a quick random highlights list may be in order. So, here goes...

• Went to March Madness/St. Patrick's day party at Cowboy's. Damn, it has been a long time since I did a post. It was a veritable who's who of immature drunk middle aged children. Stay at Home Larry was the first one there, big surprise. Fat Bastard and Mr. Jones were there embarrassing their wives as usual. I heard that Mr. Jones took bites our of an entire bowl of green apples and in then replaced them in a display bowl that Mrs. Cowboy had sitting on her kitchen table. Mr. Green drank a whole bottle of Maker's Mark and had to be followed home under the close supervision of The Voice of Reason (see below). I made a quick exit when Tequila Rose (nasty stuff) started to get the best of me.
• Mrs. Carrotpenis went out for a night cap with Johnny B and The Cowboy two Friday's ago. Due to events surrounding this evening, Johnny B. will now be referred to as The Voice of Reason or just VOR for short. That said, is it okay for The VOR to have blackout moments while performing his duties?
• Have been watching a new show on FX call The Riches. It's like a train wreck but I am very hooked; take a watch if you have a chance. Minnie Driver is easily in my Top 10.
• Been frequenting The Vine in Grayslake, IL. Great place, awesome drinks and apparently they serve food or at least I am told. If you live in the area, definitely catch some drinks there. I'm not quite at the "Norm" status of the VOR but I am working on it. Tell Juan and Ralph I said, Hi if you drop in.
• In case there was any doubt, I have officially achieved "White Trash" status. For the past several months I've been subbing once a month on Cowboy's bowling team. Well get this, we won the league championship and I done got me a trophy with my name engrave and all. I figure I am one step away from having a broken down car in my front yard.

Well, work is calling and I need to save some stories of stupidity for my next post. Coming Soon: Tenacious D. comes to his first fire and bad things happen. Don't miss it!