You just can't please anyone. Late last week, I sent out the following holiday e-mail on my Crackberry to some of my friends that I don't keep in touch with on a very regular basis....
As many of you are fully aware, I am way too lazy to go through the ceremony of sending Christmas/Holiday cards. Even if I wasn't, I probably don't have your home address anyway. So, this email is going to have to do.
I hope that everyone has a great holiday and a safe and happy new year.
Love, Carrotpenis
Now, I know that it was a little impersonal but it's the thought that counts, right? Wouldn't you know it, some of the people on my list had the audacity to criticize my methods. First of all jackasses, your handcrafted Christmas card must have gotten lost in the mail, because I didn't receive it. Or even a shitty pathetic email from you for that matter. At least I made the effort to stay in touch with your sorry ass. For those of you that complained that there was no picture, I didn't see one attached to your response. Maybe your ass has gotten so gigantic that the wide angle just can't manage to get it all in or the glare from your balding head is no longer able to be captured on film. Whatever it is, be glad you got something at all.
To the ones I got nice responses from, thanks a bunch. It's nice to know you can stay acquainted with certain people with just a brief email, once in awhile. My friend Hexy even sent me a picture of him and his son. Thank God, that Boy got his mother's head.
Peace, Love, and Happiness in the New Year!
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2 comments:
Why wouldn'nt people pick up the sincerity of your form message?
Also, easy on the bald comments.
Come on those little tufts of hair on the side block any glare issues.
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