Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?

You are probably asking yourself, where the fuck is the carrotpenis? What has he been up to since that last post from the airport. Where are those fucking pictures he promised. Well first off, wine and taking pictures aren't always a classic combination. Sometimes when I am drinking, I can take hundreds of pictures. Other times, I get lost in the moment of the social atmosphere and totally forget to bring the camera out; my business trip to California wine country was one of those times. Well I'll have to use the written word to dazzle you with activities of the past week or so.

• As I arrived at the Silverado Resort and Country Club in Napa for the first night of my stay, I immediately ran into co-workers in the hotel lobby enjoying some Champagne. 90 minutes later, I notice the doorman looking around the lobby bar. I suddenly realize that he is looking for me because I left my rental car running in hotel circle when I ran in to check in. Does this surprise anyone that knows me?
• Got really fucking lost driving from Napa to Sonoma, nearly ended up in Lake Tahoe. The whole east/west thing was very disorienting to me. In Chicago, you go east to hit water; on the west coast obviously this theory does not apply. Only took me about 45 minutes to figure it out; I am such a jackass. Did get to see some fabulous wineries on the way back though, Opus One and Robert Mondavi looked beautiful as I drove by them.
• Stayed at the fabulous Hotel Healdsburg while in Sonoma. They have the absolute best hotel beds ever. Increadibly high thread count sheets and I almost need to take a running leap to get up on the bed. Again, does this surprise anyone? They also have a European shower that is pretty much open to the rest of the bathroom. It fascinates me that the water doesn't get all over the bathroom.
• I got to try some fabulous wines while I was there. Went to William Hill winery in Napa and then Clos Du Bois and Geyser Peak wineries in Sonoma. My recommendations for the week are the Clos Du Bois Marlstone, Geyer Peak Reserve Sauv Cabernet, and the Geyser Peak Sauv Blanc.
• Had the third worst flight home ever. I'll write about the other two another time. Actually, the flying part was fine. Both the connection and the flight home were right on time. However, United Airlines with their typical heads up their asses didn't have enough staff on hand to handle the weather in Chicago. Go figure, it's snowing in December. We ended up sitting on the runway for three and a half, yes that was three and a half hours waiting for a gate to open up. Note, I gladly accepted the two mini bottles of Jim Beam Black offered to me at around 2:30am. So, instead of getting to baggage claim by 12:30am, I got there at around 4am. I then told the limo driver to just drive me home rather than picking up my snow covered car at the office.
• Was made fun of by girl with the hottest body on train for wearing what she deemed gardening gloves. My normal gloves were in my snow covered car at the office. I refrained from quipping back that she was a dumb ass for wearing a short sheer skirt on such a cold day, because I love looking at her legs.
• Came very close to taking a very hard digger on an icy patch in the parking lot while cleaning off my snow covered car on Monday night. I think my feet were above my head before I caught myself. That would have sucked.
• This morning it was snowing and I left in a rush to catch the train. Discovered when I got to the office that I left my dress shoes sitting on the living room floor. Am now forced to clomp around the office in dress khakis and a beat up pair of work boots. I'm a trend setter what can I say.

Well I better get back to the shit storm otherwise known as work. Our office Christmas (oops that's not PC is it, well fuck being PC) party is this Friday with cocktails after. I am sure there will be something worth posting about that. Everyone try and stay warm.