More Random Fun & Excitement!

Here's what's been going on in the Land of Carrotpenis....

• Well it's official, the Carrotpenis' are packing up their things and moving to Beverly. Well not actually cross country, in fact, pretty much right across the street. We sold the current tenament we are living in and on May 31st, we'll be upgrading to what I like to call a "Double Wide". If anyone is interested in assisting with the move (Yeah Right!), the beer will be cold and plentiful. As you can see, I am certainly not against a bribe.
• Of course as luck would have it, I decided to sell my house to an utter jackass. This guy has been the biggest prick ever in terms of negotiations. He just jammed me for $600 for something totally cosmetic during the home inspection. I would have told him to fuck off, but the Mrs. Penis would have killed me if she lost her dream home over $600 bucks. I hope he enjoys the leaky fridge and squeaking toilet (missed in the home inspection) I was originally going to fix for him, but now refuse to so because he has been such an asshole. Oh yeah, I also am going to inform the retarded girl that rides her bike around the neighborhood and talks everyone's ear off that the new owners said that she was welcome over anytime. I can just picture him now hearing the story about Patrick Swayze for the 100th time. Or better yet, the one about how there are two Christina's that live in the neighborhood. Ooh! I do love that one. That's worth a $1000 bucks right there.
• Mrs. Carrotpenis and I went away for the weekend to Door County, Wisconsin sans the kids. While I was a little reluctant to do so, I have to admit I had a really good time. There was great company, great food, and a lot of pretty scenery. I also got to get a round of golf in with the guys which certainly doesn't suck.
• After several weeks of pretty much non-stop driving to work, I caught the train this morning. What a nice relief to sit and relax on the way to work rather than being caught in the slow crawl with a bunch of fuck face impatient assholes. The Mick and I also boosted our IQ level by having a lengthy discussion on how the deer population in the local forest preserves could be controlled by introducing some jaguars and lions. I'm also betting it would thin out some of the stupid people as well for an added bonus.
• Someone has put the kebosh on the on-line suggestion box. That's bittersweet for me. On one side, I will finally be free of answering questions about burnt popcorn and capri pants. On the other hand, I won't be able to blog about the idiots making suggestions about burnt popcorn and capri pants. In other news, productivity has more than doubled since the suggestion box was taken down.

Well I better get back to work....I think my next post will be about how else I have secretly fucked over the guy who bought my house because he screwed me out of the $600 that I was going to use to buy my new Weber grill. Stay Tuned!