We Want the Lion!!!!

We Want the Lion!!! We Want the Lion!!!

For those of you who don't know, I did about a 6 year stint of what I like to call "honing my social skills!" at Penn State University in State College, PA. While I've certainly done a lot of growing up since then, I certainly did a lot when I was there.

In August, The Wife, The Girl, The Boy and I are all driving out to State College for the weekend. One of my fraternity brothers who lives there is having a blow out 10th anniversary party complete with J.R. Mangan playing on his back patio. It will be the first time that I've been there for any extended period of time since I left in May of 1995 to move out here to the northern burbs of Chicago. Over the past week, I have been finalizing plans for our trip out there. Then out of the blue today someone sent me one of those emails that starts with "You know you went to Penn State if...." Since I am feeling a bit nostalgic, here it is. I went through and added a few more to the list and have highlighted the ones that applied to me.

You know you went to Penn State if...

You've had a pony at the Skellar. (How about a whole case of ponies!)

You were attacked by a squirrel. I once saw one run up a girls back and then right down her arm to take an acorn that she was trying to feed to other squirrels. Fucking hilarious!

You've wondered why the heck anyone sits in the front row of class in the Forum building.

You tried to find a way into the tunnel system.

You've had your car towed away by Tennis' or Walk's.

You're ok with no name being on your jersey.

You were sure that Sharon or Deb had a crush on you.

You start to hold your breath before the drum major even starts running out for the flip.

You've been involved in a soda cup brawl with 10,000 of your closest friends.

You were half frozen after walking across Parking Lot 80 on the way to class from East Halls.

Someone tells you they lived on Beaver for three years and you don't think that's odd.

You long for your neighbors to come by chanting "tits on glass".

Every once in a while you just crave a Chicken Cosmo (and you know what it is).

You've ever had a Tonto's Demise, Original Sin, Cherry Bombs, or an El Nino.

You know what a monkey boy is.

You've called for a taxi and a 1984 Chevy Nova pulls up.

You've participated in THON.

When someone says "Teas" only one particular type of beverage comes to your mind and Lipton doesn't make it.

You've enjoyed the fine cuisine that was Cluck U Chicken.

You don't know the goddamn words.

You passed more than one class using Nittany Notes.

You know how to "penny lock" someone inside a room.

You've debated the validity and proper use of the terms "soda" and "pop" as well as "gum band" and "rubber band."

You've wanted, and gotten, the Lion.

You've enjoyed burritos as big as your head.

You participated in turning a yearly cultural and artistic event into an event synonymous with partying.

Sleeping through fire alarms is not so much a decision as it is a practice.

Being drunk at 2 pm at Cafe 210 is not sad but rather an honor and a privilege.

You've had to dodge an OPP van that's driving on the sidewalk.

You think of Calder Way as your personal outdoor toilet.

You're sure Velveeta and Green Eggs and Spam are almost big time.

You've ever taken the Loop to class.

You've ever been late to class because of the mass of freshmen that got on the Loop at East Halls, only to get off one stop later.

You're going to hell, because according to Gary the Willard Preacher, everyone at Penn State is going to hell.

You've ever wondered if the Willard Preacher knew something that you didn't.

You've decided the Willard Preacher was half nuts.

You still have uncountable and unpaid parking tickets from campus that you got because you were too lazy to walk.

You remember Uncle Chens General Tso's chicken.

You can call 867-5309, and actually have someone pick up on the other end.

You still have your IM Jerseys and occasionally wear them proudly.

You own a piece of Penn State clothing...for every day of the week...or month.

If you want to scream Hey! and clap your hands everytime you hear a cowbell.

You know what the hell "the Stacks" are.

You've ever laughed when a friend at another school told you that they couldn't imagine a better college experience.

You've drank Captain and Cokes out of a pitcher on Tuesday nights.

You've been to Movin' On.

Scheduled your courses in Spring so you could spend Friday afternoons sitting outside at the Cafe.

You had a Grad student teaching you a really hard Physics class named Bang Yi Yang and his first statement was "I not speak velly good englis".

Fast Break was not just a basketball term.

It seems odd for McDonald's to be busier at 6pm than at 3am.

Sideshow Bob was not just a Simpson's character.

You've been to Table Wars and seen the Phyrst Family.

Asking for "a Lager" can only be taken one way.

There's nothing odd about sitting in the balcony of the auditorium for class...or falling asleep there.

Still think the G-Man has the best wings you've ever had.

Think College Pizza is the best drunk food ever.

Grilled Sticky is part of your personal lexicon.

You know somebody who has either humped or urinated on that metal pig downtown.

You thought it was perfectly normal to sleep on the floor of The HUB Fishbowl in between classes.

You become outraged to find anyone charge more than a buck for a slice of pizza.

You say the name "Joe" and no last name is required.

Think Natural Light or Beast isn't actually that bad.

Know where country roads really take you home to.

You would go back and do it all over again!

Here are my additions....

You knew the $1 pitcher and 10 cent wing schedule by heart in order to conserve money.

You sold your books back before the end of the sememster to go to $1 pitcher and 10 cent wing night.

You know what it means to jump over the fence at the Lion's Den.

You saw Rusted Root at a fraternity party.

You've stopped at the bank on Friday to pick up a button.

You had to pick up a keg on Tuesday for a Wednesday night party.

You've drank Green Shit or Red Shit.

You've had Unidogs at 2:15am and thought they tasted good.

You've passed out after Friday Happies at the G-Man, but got up just in time for the fraternity parties to start.

You've slipped and fell on the tile floor at the Saloon.

You've gone to the Lion Shrine at 3am just for fun.

You've been asked to leave McClanahans for being drunk in the afternoon.

You've been to Beaver Stadium at night when no one was there or better yet had sex on the 50 yard line.

You've eaten gold fish at the Pink Elephant or had a beer at Taco Bell.

You thought that going out for half price drinks on Sunday night was perfectly acceptable.

If you can think of any others to add leave me a comment. Or if you want me to clarify any of them, I'd be happy to do so. Let's Go State!